I watch the #metoo posts accumulate in my feed with sadness, because each instance represents trauma and unfairness, but also optimism, because each represents an individual decision to speak up. Speaking up can introduce badly needed personal reality into an often fictional social reality.
I've deliberated about whether to say anything in support or response. On the one hand, these are statements of an experience from which I'm largely exempt due to gender privilege. Who am I to jump in and say anything? For instance, what if statements by males appear to confer legitimacy instead of the intended support? Women are speaking up about their life - let's listen. On the other hand, as other women in my feed suggest, silence can appear unsupportive. So, fuck it. We can all do nuance, or learn to.
In line with another friend's response, it's extremely important to recognize, highlight and change the reality of harassment and discrimination that my friends are communicating. Hopefully, social media campaigns will help to do this.
I say this knowing that I've been a part of the problem, both actively and passively. I'd like to think that I've been able to recognize and improve on my own bias, and to openly discuss discrimination against women as a route to change. But maybe not. And if not, I am happy to witness, listen and/or discuss from a posture of respect. I encourage all my male friends to do the same.
One of the most powerful forms of civil disobedience is raising children well. There's a lot to unpack in that statement, with important caveats. Still, for those of you broadcasting your experience as women, and if it matters to you, raising our boys to respect everyone - and particularly women - is front and center for me.
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